Throw Me A Curve

Linda Burton posting from Sacramento, California – A bunch of drinking buddies plotted out the Sacramento Streets, that’s all that I can figure out. I manage to get lost each time I venture anywhere, despite the efforts of my GPS. A careful study of the map just makes it worse, look for yourself!

There’s 160 to go downtown from Arden Way; although someone told me “Stay on Howe, it turns into J, and that will get you where you want to go.” I kept going straight and wound up far out on Power Inn, turned right to 65th, that ran into Folsom Boulevard, what next? Asked GPS to get me back to Howe, hit Elvas Avenue, what’s that? Every street has curves, and jogs, or simply changes names.

I’ve always said you need to know a place already to understand the signs, that’s true for here, I think, and show the map to Patti when she brings my plate. She joins me in my booth, finger pointing to this street and that, not making sense to my addled mind.

“It’s a mess,” she nodded empathetically. “We all used to know our way around till things got screwed with one-way streets. It pissed us off but we’ve got used to it.” “Maybe it’s the rivers,” I offered back. “You’ve got two rivers curving east and north and south, splitting every inch of town, I guess streets have to go around.”

She nodded, and ripped a bit of paper off her order pad. “Here’s my name and phone number,” she offered. “Call me if you need some help.”

I may. Meanwhile, I mutter in my sleep, 16th, one-way out of town, left lane for the ramp to Del Paso, jog right on Arden Way. Repeat.

Note I haven’t mentioned the light-rail tracks and big-rail tracks that drop their flashing red-light bars and block the downtown streets, or orange-coned construction lanes that pop up when I’ve finally figured out my route. Detour!

Enough to make a person take to drink.